Ageless Passions by Karen Putz

Author: Karen Putz

  • We Are Indeed, Hands & Voices

    Every year, it gets better.

    Beth Donofrio and I headed out to Breckenridge last Thursday for the annual Hands & Voices Leadership Workshop.  Beth is a close friend of mine as well as an Illinois Hands & Voices board member.  She’s a mom of five kids, with lots of experience in assisting parents of deaf and hard of hearing kids throughout the years. 

    Each year, the workshop has grown, and this year, we had folks from as far away as Saipan joining us.  On the left, you can see the states that are involved with Hands & Voices.  We are spreading wordwide as well.  It has been amazing to see the growth– from a few chapters a few years ago to nearly every state with a chapter or a start-up.  There are a lot of us out there who believe “What works for your child is what makes the choice right.”

    On Friday night, I teamed up with Erin, a mom from the Pennsylvania chapter to host an icebreaker.  You’ve heard of “speed dating?”  We did “Speed Greeting.”   Everyone left with a new best friend that night.

    There were several of us there raising three deaf/hard of hearing kids and it was nice to bond with those families.  Everywhere I went, moms would share bits and pieces from their lives, wisdom was exchanged and ideas explored.  I wanted more time– there’s never enough time!  The weekend went by way too quickly.

    In the photo on the left, is our team from Illinois.  Left to right:  Leeanne Seaver, Executive Director of Hands & Voices, Beth Donofrio, myelf and Ginger Mullen, the EHDI Coordinator for newborn hearing screening.  We are working together to set up a parent-to-parent program in Illinois that will provide parent support after a diagnosis.

    Someone asked me once, why does Hands & Voices appeal to me so much?  From the time I first set eyes on their mission and their stance on communication modes, I knew I had found my “home.”  I wanted a safe place to explore answers for my kids, a place where I could learn advocacy skills and a place that was going to roll up the sleeves and help me make changes in the way that families receive information upon diagnosis.  I love the variety– I’ve had a wonderful opportunity to meet families using all kinds of communication modes. 

    I came across a quote over the weekend that I thought was really profound:

    “A community that excludes even one of its members is not a community at all.”  –Dan Wilkins

  • Hands & Voices in Colorado

    Greetings from beautiful Colorado! I am blogging this on my phone at the base of Breckenridge’s Beaver Run resort. The mountains are amazing at this time of the year. Many of the peaks still have snow on them.

    I came out here on Thursday with my friend Beth who is also a board member for Illinois Hands &Voices. We attended the annual leadership workshop for Hands & Voices.

    I’ll be sharing pictures in tomorrow’s post. It was an amazing weekend of connections & new friendships.

  • Socialization for Deaf and Hard of Hearing Kids

    As I was driving home from the mall today, I watched the six kids in the back as they chatted with each other.  The two high school boys were conversing using mostly their voice, with some signs thrown in.  The three girls were animatedly using American Sign Language. Eyebrows arched, shoulders shrugged and cheeks puffed as they skipped through conversations about residental school, camp and their plans for the night.

    I thought back to a few months ago:  I was at an anniversary celebration of a close friend and she introduced me to her cousin, a mom of a hard of hearing son who was in middle school.  We chatted for a while, I told her about Illinois Hands & Voices and we talked about IEPs.  Then the topic of socialization came up.  I shared my frustrations about our school district–how there were nearly 70 kids with hearing loss and very little connection among the kids.  What she told me next blew me away.  “My son doesn’t have a single friend,” she said.  I saw sadness on her face.  “If he could just make one friend, it would be so much better.”

    I couldn’t get that boy out of my mind.  I grew up being the only hard of hearing kid in school, but I always had several close friends.  I’m always looking for new situations for my kids to meet and connect with other kids, deaf, hard of hearing or hearing.  So when my oldest son received an invitation to swim at a friend’s house a few weeks ago, I drove him over there.

    I chatted with the mom and we talked about school, IEPs and other things.  What she said next, blew me away.  The mom revealed that it was the first time since they moved three years ago that her sons had friends over to their house.  I watched as the group of kids horsed around in the pool with smiles on their faces.  It was hard to believe that this was the first time a group of them had gotten together.

    So today, as I watched the six kids connect with one another, I started to wonder about other deaf and hard of hearing kids and how they’re spending their summer.  How many other kids are spending their summer social bluffing their way through group conversations, as I did?  I had a great group of friends while growing up, but I still managed to be the Social Bluffing Queen when it came to parties and group outings. I didn’t address the social bluffing issue until many years later– after meeting deaf and hard of hearing people and learning what it was like to access group conversations without bluffing through them.   Mark Drolsbaugh, my separated-at-birth-twin has a great series on social bluffing:

    Super Phony

    Super Phony on Spring Break

    The Return of Super Phony

    What will it take, asks Mark, to hang up the Super Phony cape for once and for all?  “There are still too many Super Phonies flying around out there. We’ve got to rein them in and encourage them to live authentic lives,” says Mark.  

    Can it be done?

     

  • A Week to Remember at Christie Lake

    Vacation time is over and a mound of laundry is sitting in the laundry tub.  I can hear my Mom chiding me as she reads this.  But I told you to wash your laundry while you were up there!

    The week started out with Steven’s baseball team’s championship win.  No sooner did we arrive back up in Michigan and the storm clouds began to roll in.  We covered up the boats just before the skies let loose with angry mix of wind and rain.  The electric went out from Wednesday evening until Friday morning.

    Everyone made the best of it.  Shortly after we lit up the lanterns, the kids began to make up dances in the kitchen.  Mom and my cousin, Marilyn, began doing line dances, the fox trot and the cha-cha (at least, I think that’s what the hopping around looked like).

    On the fourth of July, the weather was beautiful.  The kids decorated the pontoon for the annual boat parade.  We didn’t have many boats this year–either the price of gas kept everyone on shore or they didn’t want to particpate in the water fights afterwards.

    Right after the parade, we threw a surprise 40th birthday party for my cousin Cheri.  Cheri’s brother passed away when she was a teen, so her actual birthday at the end of the year always holds sad memories.  So we celebrated her “half” birthday instead.  The cake was decorated in black icing, with two nice mounds of icing-covered oranges in honor of her new growth.  That’s right, Cheri’s gift to herself this year was never-before-seen cleavage.  I gotta tell ya, my cousin rocks.  She took up running, lost weight and looks like a knock-out.  She’s my inspiration.  I’ve got the boobs, now I want the body to match.

    There’s more.  The vacation wouldn’t be memorable if it wasn’t for the way it started… and ended.  On Saturday night, we were next door at a party.  The beer was flowing freely and the roasted pig was actually delicious, even after I declared that I wouldn’t eat it–there I was–sitting with a plate of it and downing it with my fourth cup of beer.  Those who know me, you can pick your jaw up off the floor.  Yes, I do like to imbibe every now and then.

    Cheri’s husband came bounding over.  “The septic tank just overflowed on the driveway,” he announced.  Uh oh.  So that smell– it was wafting over from our driveway.  We tried to keep the news away from Mom as Dad slipped back home to call the septic company.  Of course, there wasn’t anyone who was willing to come out over the weekend and empty the tank.

    So there we were, with a bunch of people in the house and strict orders not to flush.   Mom hollered at Dad for a bit.  “I told you to call the septic company earlier in the week!”  But then she quickly went into problem-solving mode, pulling out kitchen garbage bags and announcing that anyone who wanted to void themselves of solid contents would have to cover the toilet with a garbage bag first.  We managed to get everyone through the weekend minus working toilets.

    What can I say?  It was definitely a memorable week.

  • Crystal Schwartz, Health Educator/Counselor

    Crystal Schwartz is an independent contractor with an interesting job.  She is a Health Educator and Counselor to clients with HIV or at-risk.   Crystal works with different hospitals and counsels deaf and hard of hearing patients about healthy living and sex education with HIV.  She hosts workshops on topics related to HIV and healthy living.

    Crystal didn’t intend to get into counseling at first.  She attended Gallaudet University for three years and while in Chicago on an internship, she finished up her degree in Business Administratation at the Robert Morris College. 

    “I first became involved as an educator/counselor by volunteering a lot with the HIV program and through networking,” said Crystal.

    Crystal left full-time work and switched to the part-time counseling job to allow more flexibility and time with her children.  Crystal is a mom to three deaf children.  She has been a Health Educator and Counselor for seven years.

    “I’m blessed to be able to help so many people,” she said.

    Today, Crystal is back in school, aiming for her graduate degree in Management.  She’s also hard at work, writing her first book.

  • Roughing it at Christie Lake

    After meeting my brother to drop off Kaycie, we headed back up to Christie Lake on Wednesday. As soon as we arrived, we began to cover up the boats. The Weather Channel showed that a large storm was heading our way.

    And boy, did it hit.

    The wind was fierce and the lake water swirled in all directions. I was a bit afraid that it was going to turn into a tornado like the storm we had in the early eighties that overturned boats and downed trees. Back then, the power was out for nearly a week and we had no electric.

    In the middle of this storm, the power went out. Mom and Dad ran around getting the kerosene lamps and camping lights. Mom brought out one lamp that was her mother’s lamp– almost a hundred years old– and we lit that as well.

    The storm finally settled down. We sat around talking with my cousins, waiting to see if the electric would come back on. Mom told stories about how she grew up without electric as a kid. After an hour, Dad went outside to hook up the generator. The generator operates the kitchen light, fridge, water pump and the microwave so “roughing it” was a bit exaggerated for our situation. We used candles and flashlights in the bathrooms and even redirected the electric to watch TV later.

    Dad called the electric company and found out that the electric was going to be out until Saturday night at eleven p.m. My brother and his wife decided to go and rent a camper for the weekend and they came up on Thursday. We took out fish and ended up with a big fish fry that night with potatoes on the grill. Later, I used the grill to warm up water for baths for my Mom, cousin and sister. After the third round of baths, we quit. The kids braved a cold shower. I decided to wait until the morning.

    So early this morning, I jumped into a very, very cold shower. “Who needs coffee,” I announced when I came down. “A cold shower works much better!”

    A few hours later, the electric came back on. The nice thing about going without electric is that it makes you appreciate it so much more when it comes back on.

    So Happy 4th of July to everyone– embrace your electric today!

  • Happy Birthday, Liz Strauss

    SOBCon 08 048

    Happy Birthday, Liz!  Have a Klondike, on me!

  • Phillies Take the Championship

    Yes, I know I grumbled about baseball earlier.  I wasn’t too happy about having to first postpone and then drive back home from our vacation up in Michigan.   But the drive back was oh-so-worth it: the Phillies won the championship game yesterday.

    Steven was the first batter up and he cracked a nice triple:

    The Phillies and the Angels battled back and forth until the sixth inning.  They were tied, seven to seven.  Steven was playing first base and he attempted to make a double play, but the ball sailed over the third baseman’s head.  The Angels scored a run.  Steven’s face fell and my heart ached for him.  I have to give credit to our coaches– they kept their cool and maintained a positive outlook for the kids.

    The Phillies were able to hold the Angels to one run and then the Phillies went up to bat.  It was one out and the Phillies had two kids on base.  Jeremy, a brown-haired kid with an impish grin stepped up to bat.  He racked up two strikes and a ball.  The Angels pitcher fired a ball that was a bit high and Jeremy went for it.  I should actually say that he hacked it, because he swung his bat as if he was going for a pinata and the ball sailed in an arch, bounced hard at the edge of the infield and sailed into the grass between center and left field.

    The Phillies rounded the bases and won the game, 9 to 8.

  • Deaf and Hard of Hearing People at the Drive-Thru–Go Inside!

    I’ve been getting a rash of new comments on the Steak ‘n Shake incident at my old blog site.  All of the recent messages have the same comment:  Deaf and hard of hearing people are not welcomed at the drive-thru.  Go inside!
    Here are some of the messages that were left:

    Employee said…
    Karen,
    I do regret that this situation happened to you. There have been many misjudgements of character here in my branch of service also. I have encountered many unsuccessful people in the food industry. I personally apologize for anything that was done for you and hope that our company does everything that you hope to get from them. I hope that you will find heart and be able to visit Steak and Shake in the future. Maybe just avoid the one with the bad management?
    8:13 AM
    Anonymous said…
    I’m Hearing Impaired Too, but my
    take is a little different than yours.The last thing I want is special
    treatment, law or no law.
    I would park the car and walk in
    and give my order.
    Because you had no problem communicating at the window , he saw no reason why you couldn’t do
    it over the speaker and neither
    can I.
    7:04 PM
    Anonymous said…
    Karen,
    I feel for your situation and of course this could have and should have been handled more appropriately.I would like to point out that you spoke several times about the ADA and reasonable accomadation. You even threatened the associate with this.I have nothing against folks with disabilities and even agree that certain accomadations need to be made but consider this.Would it have not been reasonable for you to just go inside to order? There is nothing wrong with trying to meet these challenges of communication half away but for some reason you make it sound as if going inside to place the order was unreasonable and out of the question.The whole thing sounds silly for both sides. I wish you the best!
    9:48 PM
    Anonymous said…
    GET OUT OF THE CAR AND GO INSIDE
    12:11 PM
    Anonymous said…  

    next time just go in and order.

    Have we gone back to the days of separate water fountains, where certain people were allowed to drink out of THOSE water fountains and other people were regulated to another one?  Those comments reveal the same attitudes, that drive-thrus are reserved for a special class of people.  If you’re deaf or hard of hearing, you get your little fanny out of the car and walk inside.  No drive-thru service for you.
    Not only do we have to fight for physical access at the drive-thru, we have to deal with attitude barriers as well.

    And by the way, Anonymous, it’s not called “special” treatment.  It’s called equal treatment.
     
     

  • News Flash: Phillies Beat the Reds

    I was hoping they would lose.

    Steven, my youngest kiddo, suited up this morning for a playoff game.  His team, the Phillies, was playing against the Reds.  Steven’s friend Blake, was on the other team. 

    When the playoffs loomed early last week, I was telling the Phillies coach, Dave, that we had vacation plans.  We were planning to head up to Michigan last Thursday, assuming the Phillies would be out of the playoffs quickly after Tuesday’s game earlier in the week.

    They won. 

    In the last inning, Steven was playing first base–he fielded a runner out and threw to third for a double play to end the game.   Right after the game, Coach Dave came bounding over.  “You’ll have to cancel your vacation plans!” he grinned.

    So when the game began this morning, I was pretty sure we’d be finished with baseball in a few hours.  After all, we were playing a team with one of the best records–they had only lost two games the entire season.

    Sure enough, it was the last inning and we were down 8 to 6.  We had two outs and then Steven came up to bat.

    Uh oh.  Joe and I looked at each other.  The last time Steven faced the same situation, he struck out and that was the end of that game.  He was pretty bummed out about that.  We were afraid that it was going to end on a bad note.

    Steven swung–strike one.  He swung again–strike two.  The third base coach came over to talk to him and told Steven to move in closer to home plate.  I held my breath.  I was so afraid it was going to end on the next pitch.

    Crack!

    Steven connected with the ball and powered a line drive into center field.  Two of his teammates crossed over the plate to tie the game.

    It was the bottom of the sixth and the Reds were up.  They needed just one run to win the game.  Bases were loaded. The Reds popped a fly ball, the Phillies’ pitcher caught it and fired the ball to Steven on first for a double-play.  The inning ended with the next batter.

    The game went into extra innings.  The Phillies started a hitting rally and Steven scored a double.  The Reds tried hard to come back, scoring four runs, but it wasn’t enough to catch up.

    Final score: Phillies 14, Reds 11.

    Coach Dave came running again, but he didn’t have to tell me–by this time, I had caught playoff fever and beat him to the punch.

    “Yeah, Coach, we’ll be driving back from Michigan on Tuesday for the Championship game.”