Ageless Passions by Karen Putz

Author: Karen Putz

  • Yes, It’s My Birthday–You Want to See My Present?

    A special thank you goes to all of you for the many Tweets, emails and Facebook comments that everyone left today. Terry Starbucker even sang “Just the Way You Are–” virtually, of course. I’m a sucker for that song.

    The hubby apparently forgot my birthday early this morning before he went to work. He remembered around 9:40 this morning, when he sent a text message. He came home for lunch and left a nice note in front of the computer. My friend Beth took me out to lunch and we did dinner with the in-laws.

    This morning, I was tweeting about my favorite birthday cake, the Red Velvet cake. That cake is a staple in my family and my Mom has made it for many, many birthdays among my siblings and the grandkids. I promised Genevieve Hinson a peek at it:

    Those of you who read this blog faithfully (what do you mean you don’t?  Subscribe, baby!) know that I bought myself the ultimate birthday present recently.  For those of you who don’t know, let me tell you about my present.  It’s a big, gleaming hunk that I can wrap my legs around and ride.  It has different speeds and even accessories that allow me to decide when it goes fast and when it goes slow.  

    Oh no, no, no–get your head out of the gutter.

    Here’s my new toy:

      I figure it’s a lot more satisfying than having an affair.  John Edwards should have bought one.

  • Summer is Flying By

    Ah, it felt good to unplug this week. 

    I took the kids back up to Christie Lake on Sunday to grab the last full week up here.  My cousins came up from Missouri  again and my husband’s friend and his kids joined us on Wednesday.  Mike and his kids only planned to stay two days, but it’s Sunday morning and they’re still here.  We are sitting in the kitchen having omelettes and getting ready for a final boat ride before we head home.  That’s the lure of lakeside living–good food, good friends and lots of fun.  It’s hard to leave.

    Yesterday, for the fun of it, we drove around the lake to see the few homes that are up for sale.  Housing prices on the lake have soared in the last five years.  We stopped at a house that was priced at $900,000 last year and is being offered at $649,000 this summer.  It’s a beautiful piece of property but the house looks like it will require some work to update it.  Also up for sale is a pair of houses that my friend Tammy rented for several years.  The two tiny houses perched on a very tiny lot are going for $349,000.   There’s also another small ranch home up for sale for nearly 300 grand.

    There’s even a beautiful lot for sale for…are you ready for this….$345,000.  This lot is on the same part of the lake that my two brothers owned land many years ago.  They bought the lot for ten grand back then and sold it a few years later for a very small profit.   It’s hard to believe that land has soared that much in price but Christie Lake is a private lake, one of the few private lakes in Michigan with no public access. 

    For the last couple of years, I have been talking about buying a jet ski.  I started looking at used ones earlier in the summer.  I came close to purchasing a few of them, but someone else always beat me to the offer.  “Why don’t you look at a new one?” the hubby suggested.   I stopped at Leader’s Marine in Kalamazoo on the way home from dropping off a Redbox movie and looked at the new ones.  Sea Doo was running a special with low cost financing and a $800 gas card.

    I went to talk to Dick, a 74-year-old neighbor who owned pretty much every toy there is.  He had some ski lifts sitting in the water and I wanted to see if I could buy one.  They’ve gone through three used jet skis.  The most recent one was purchased by his son earlier in the summer and it was already out of commission just a few weeks later.  I was apprehensive about buying used vs. new.  I was leaning toward the new Sea Doo, mostly because it had a key that wouldn’t let a user go over 35 mph.  I could use that for the kids to keep them from going full speed at 50-60 mph.

    “Life is short, go buy it!” Dick said.

    Life is short.  How many times have I said that to other people?

    And that’s how I ended up buying a Sea Doo for my birthday.

  • Embracing the Identity of Being Deaf and Hard of Hearing

    When I was growing up, I wasn’t comfortable being hard of hearing.  I hid my hearing aid under my hair and as soon as I arrived home from school, I tossed it on a ledge.  I never touched the hearing aid during the summer.  You’d almost never find me asserting myself by telling someone, “I’m hard of hearing, I need you to face me when you talk.”  Only among close friends, would I have the courage to say, “What? Repeat that, would ya?”

    So what happens when you’re not comfortable being deaf or hard of hearing?  You hide it.  You do everything possible to “fit in” and “look normal.”  You develop an impressive arsenal of social bluffing skills.  You nod along in conversation, figure out when to put in a thoughtful, “hmmm,” and ask questions that might lead you to a clue in the topic that is firing back and forth in a group.

    When I became deaf at the age of nineteen, I changed in many ways.  I learned American Sign Language and discovered many new deaf and hard of hearing friends for the first time in my life.  Slowly, I tapered off the bluffing.  I learned to take pride in being deaf, to be open about it, to rejoice in this whole journey.  I can’t even begin to describe the differences.  For one thing, you’d never catch me showing off my hearing aids on public television.  Yes, those are my blue earmolds on ABC– aren’t they purty?

    I love stories like this one:  Social Bluffing, by Katie.  In her post, Katie shares:

    I have decided to be more honest with myself and with people I don’t know re: my hearing impairment.  I’ve decided that it is perfectly OK to tell the cashier, the waitress or whomever I’m speaking to that I have a hearing impairment, and could they please talk slower and speak up for me? 

    and:

    In my experience, I’ve also discovered that when you are honest with people and tell them why they need to repeat what they said or word it differently for you, they are more than accommodating in the request.   I am learning to give people more credit than I did in the past, which has allowed me a more positive view of the world.

    In her guest post, Katie shares that she recently began this journey of becoming hard of hearing just a few years ago.  So taking the action to assert herself is part of the path of learning to become comfortable about being hard of hearing and getting the communication access that is needed.  Little by little, confidence comes from taking baby steps and then one day, you find yourself asserting your communication needs with relative ease.

    Just the other day, I received this comment sent via the contact me form on this blog.  I received permission to share it here:

    Hi there Karen

    I am Elias and I am 34yo from way down under 🙂

    All my life i was in denial of my impairment and sort of closed myself from the deaf community. It wasn’t until a personal crisis that forced me to take a deep look inside myself.

    I looked up on the internet for inspiration and help and  i came across Stephen Hopson and it was what i needed. I was amazed to learn he is a pilot and motiovational speaker. The more i read about his life the more inspired i became. He woke me up so much and realised that I can do more for myself. I realise i finally knew what i wanted to do for myself and the world.

    Then i came across your blog and for the past few months i read as many as i can from your blogs. All i can say is wow.

    I wish to say a big thank you for showing me that it is okay to be deaf. I found your blog through Stephen
    When i decided to check out your blog, i was amazed by your life experiences. Thank you for showing me that it’s okay to be deaf.

    I plan to enter the world of Blogging hopefully soon.

    Again thank you!

    Elias

    Thank you, Elias, for sharing your journey with me.  I look forward to reading about your venture into the blogging world.

    You’re right, Elias, it’s ok to be deaf.

  • Carolyn Neumann, Visual Display Specialist

    Carolyn Neumann fell in love with fashion in high school.  She knew she wanted to do something in that field, but wasn’t quite sure what track she wanted to go into–whether it would be management, business or marketing. “I was thinking ‘I do not want a desk job,’” said Carolyn. “I love to move around on my feet all day and I have a high energy level.” 
     
    While attending Southern Illinois University, Carolyn convinced the university bookstore to hire her to do visual displays for their store to boost sales. It was a great success and Carolyn worked there for two years. “I did many window displays and I even had people volunteer to do live displays in the windows.  It was hilarious and fun!”
     
    Carolyn graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Fashion Merchandising and began to work at Pier One in Chicago doing the visual displays, stocking and working as a cashier.  “I stayed there for two years,” said Carolyn. “Then I decided to quit visual display and go into marketing.”  Carolyn worked for four years as a supervisor at the Prism Marketing firm.
     
    In 1996, Carolyn became a Visual Display Specialist for Kohl’s department stores where she is employed today.   “I change all of the mannequins on a weekly basis to keep the merchandise flowing and to help it sell faster,” Carolyn explained.  “I also have to make sure each department has their floor plan set each month with the new merchandise we receive.  We get an average of two truck deliveries each week.  All the walls and floor racks get changed each month.”
     
    Carolyn travels to other local Kohl’s stores to assist the other Visual Display Specialists when needed. Whenever a new Kohl’s store opens up in the Chicago area, Carolyn helps them prepare for their openings. “I traveled to California a few years ago to help them open their stores when they entered the Kohl’s market for the first time.”
     
    Since she cannot hear the overhead intercom, Carolyn carries a pager that her coworkers use to text her when she’s out on the floor working.
     
    When dealing directly with customers, Carolyn occasionally has difficulty understanding what is said and will seek out another sales associate to be of assistance.  “Most of the time, I can understand the customer and help them find what they are looking for. I have had some customer complaints saying that I am stuck up,” Carolyn chuckles. “They do not realize that I am deaf.”

  • Kids At Camp–Mom is Partying!

     Yes, those are my kids at left.  Aren’t they just adorable?  I sent them all off to camp this week.  Of course, they’re a lot older than they look in the photo.

    Last night, the hubby and I broke out the Blackberry wine from St. Julian’s Winery and we watched TV in bed, sipping the fruity stuff.

    We didn’t even have to lock the door!

    This is the fourth year my kids have gone off to the Lions Camp.  It’s only the second time for my youngest son.  The Lions Camp is generously funded by the Lions of Illinois Foundation.  Every year, my kids look forward to their week at camp.  They come home with reams of pictures and stories about their fellow campers.  All of the campers are deaf or hard of hearing, and for some of them, it is the first time they’ve used American Sign Language or hung around other deaf and hard of hearing kids.

    This is the second full day that I get to blast my John Denver music without someone complaining that it is interferring with their TV program.  The second day that I don’t have to order someone to pick up a half-filled glass and an empty wrapper.  There’s no one around to holler at.  Clean your room!  Empty the dishwasher!  Take the dog for a walk!  Stop body-slamming your brother to the floor! 

    I have lots of good intentions of getting work done this week.  The house also needs a serious cleaning and I’m working on an e-book.  I expect my readers to hold me accountable to this.  At the end of the week, be sure to ask me if my house is clean and if I’ve written 5,000 words.

    However, as much fun as I’m having dancing around the house without someone snickering at me, I realize that this is a taste of life to come.  Haven’t I said that before?  This house is gonna be too empty without kids.

    So, kids, go have fun at camp this week and Mom is gonna do the same.  But when you come back on Saturday, it’ll be back to the grind!

     “Hang up your wet towel! How many times do I have to tell you that the maid doesn’t live here?”

  • Thinking of Breaking Up? You Might Get Sued

    I was chatting with a friend this morning and she asked, “Did you hear about the lady who sued her fiance for dumping her and won $150,000?”

    Holy Moly!

    I went on to read another news article about it:

    Jilted Bride Awarded $150,000 after Wedding Called Off

    Jilted Bride Calls $150,000 Settlement ‘Justice’

    I have mixed feelings about this lawsuit. On one hand, life is messy. Feelings change. Relationships can change from one day to the next. People get cold feet about marriage all the time. Does this lawsuit now mean that jilted others can sue left and right for “breaches of promises?”

    The gal’s attorney, Linda Sartain, believes the case will change the way people look at engagements:

    Sartain also told Vieira that she hopes the case sets a precedent that an engagement can be a binding contract: “When you give your word to do something and you cause people to rely on it to their detriment, then you may be held accountable for any damages that you cause.”

     

     

    However, on the other hand, I can understand the gal’s reason for the lawsuit– she gave up her life and moved to be near her fiance–and gave up a job with a nice income. In the article, she says that her fiance never intended to marry her.

    Now this makes me think of a guy that I know who plays with people’s feelings on the internet all the time. He makes up all kinds of stories, telling women that he loves them and wants to marry them. He leads them to believe that he’s very sincere and he plays with several women at the same time.

    So if this gal’s pal is like the sneaky guy I know–then I’d say she deserves even more money from the guy.

  • Are You Enjoying Your Summer?

    It was like old times.  We invited two families to join us at Christie Lake over the weekend.  Dennis, Laura, Steve and Joanne.  Plus their kids. It was the first time we all kicked back together up at the lake.  The weather forecast called for rain the entire weekend but none of us cared.  We just wanted to connect with one another and catch up on life. 

    Visiting St. Julian's Winery

    It definitely rained.  We decided to go to the St. Julian Winery in the morning.  We left Dennis behind with the kids, and they took off in the rain to go swimming.  I hadn’t been to the winery since I was a kid, sipping grape juice at the bar.  It was fun to sample the wine and try unusual ones.  We ended up buying a blackberry wine and the Niagara.  

    After the sampling, we took a tour of the winery.  The tour guide slowed down his speech and faced us while he spoke, so the tour was pretty accessible for us.  Unfortunately, the short movie in the beginning wasn’t captioned.

    When we arrived back, the rain slowed down.  We grabbed lunch and then decided to go tubing with just the adults first.  The kids were taking a break from all the swimming they did. 

    As I whipped Dennis and Steve around, I tried to make sure that Steve didn’t fall off too hard or crash his head into Dennis.  I didn’t want to jar his cochlear implant internally and be responsible for sending him back into the hospital for a re-implant.  When Steve climbed into the boat, he thanked me for the wild ride.  “That was me being cautious!” I laughed. 

    Steve brought up his kayaks so we all took turns kayaking around the lake.  On Sunday, the sun came out in the afternoon so we took the pontoon out and swam in the middle.  We took the kids tubing and kneeboarding the rest of the time.

    This was a rare weekend for all of us together but I was really thankful for it.  There’s nothing like spending some time with friends and family, sharing good food and good times.   

    So how’s your summer going?  Are you finding enjoyable moments to kick back and enjoy?  Share them in the comment section!

  • Dr. Thomas McDavitt, Veterinarian

    Ever since he was a young child, Dr. Thomas McDavitt held on to the dream of becoming a veterinarian. Despite some opposition from well-meaning professionals during high school and college, Thomas forged ahead, taking the classes he needed and volunteering himself in various clinics and zoos to increase his knowledge and skills.  Several professionals expressed concern that being deaf might hinder him from performing the tasks needed to work with animals.  “How will you hear the heartbeat and lungs?” they asked.

    Profoundly deaf, Dr. McDavitt uses his hands to tell him what his ears cannot.  He feels for lung congestion and heartbeats combined with information from an assistant and refers any animal to a specialist if there are any concerns.

    Dr. McDavitt runs his own practice in Hickory Hills, Illinois.  Read more about this veterinarian here:

    Deaf Veterinarian Has a Heart for Animals.

    Watch a video of an ABC News segment:

    Deaf Veterinarian Treats Suburban Pets.

  • Deaf Mom World Gets a New Look–Makes Alltop

    How do you like my new look?

    No, I didn’t get another dye job.

    Gaze your eyes upward and you’ll find my new banner design.  I won the banner design from Meryl Evans, who was giving away five grand in prizes to celebrate her blog’s eighth birthday.  I can’t wait to see what she gives away at her tenth birthday!

    The banner was designed by Harry, the talented designer from Men with Pens.   When I first received notification that I won a banner design, I was thanking the stars for aligning in my favor.  One of the things I wanted to do after the SOBCono8  was to customize my theme, but being the ultimate procrastinator, I kept putting off the search for a designer.  Lo and behold, I now had one at my beck and call.

    It sure was fun working with Harry.  Harry, do this.  Harry, can you try that?  Harry, can you make it darker?  Harry, can you airbrush 40 pounds off and make me look like Christie Brinkley?

    We had a little problem with geography and I ended up first in Canada, then in Michigan.  Harry was working off the logo I created all by myself, from scratch at the left.  Considering I spend half of my summers at Christie Lake in Michigan, I thought about leaving it there.  But it was too much fun to order Harry to make more changes.  So Harry’s slaving away and moving me to Chicago soon.

     Harry also went above and beyond duty as he helped me install the banner on my blog.  We worked through instant messaging and I asked him to walk me through the whole process.  He could have easily installed it himself, but he was willing to take the time and guide me by the hand.  Navigating the code was like walking through a minefield, and Harry kept me from blowing my blog up. 

    Would I pay money to have this done by Men with Pens?  You betcha.

    In other news, A Deaf Mom Shares Her World made it to the very top of Alltop in the Disability section.  I’ve been quoted in Car and Caboodle and Diversity, Inc. recently.  And the most exciting news of all: I’ve been asked to become a regular blogger for Momlogic and Chicago Moms Blog.

    But if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to run.  I wish I was jetting off to an exciting blog conference or hosting a book signing, but there’s something more urgent to take care of.

    The toilet’s clogged up.

  • Steak ‘n Shake — Filing a Complaint for Discrimination

    It was bound to happen. 
     
    Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?  Back in January, my son and I had the drive thru window closed in our face, not once, but twice by a head trainer/manager of Steak ‘n Shake in Bolingbrook.  “Go around and use the speaker,” I was told. Numerous attempts to explain that I was deaf did not sway him.  Showing my hearing aids didn’t convince him to serve me.  He stated that he could call the cops if I continued to remain in the drive thru.
     
    Many people told me to “sue the pants off of Steak ‘n Shake!” 
     
    I wanted something more.  I wanted to work with the corporation to try and affect some positive changes. I didn’t want to pursue a lawsuit.  I wanted to make it so that when my kids go through a Steak ‘n Shake drive-thru, they’d be able to access it in any of their 400+ restaurants.
     
    A meeting was set up with three Steak ‘n Shake employees: the Director of Communications, Director of Human Resources and Director of Operations.  Howard Rosenblum, a deaf attorney from Equip for Equality and a person who was very familiar with the drive thru issues, joined us at the meeting.  He was there to represent me and make sure that all of the bases were covered in protecting my rights.
     
    At first, the possibility of change seemed quite possible.  The three corporate staff persons were interested in making positive changes so that this would not happen to another deaf, hard of hearing or speech-challenged person in their drive-thrus.  They indicated that they were not the right department to implement the changes and that we would have to meet with other staff who could put changes in place.  So we left the meeting feeling positive about the direction that Steak ‘n Shake was going in.
     
    The issue was handed over to Greg Fehribach, an attorney who works for Steak ‘n Shake.  We stressed to Mr. Fehribach that we wanted to meet with the corporate employees who had the authority to make changes in the drive thru.
     
    On Monday, Howard and I met with Mr. Fehribach and another Steak ‘n Shake attorney.  Despite my request to meet near my home, Mr. Fehribach insisted on having the meeting in downtown Chicago.  Right then and there, I could see that Steak ‘n Shake wasn’t planning to make this process any easier on me.
     
    At first, our meeting went well as we explained the changes that we hoped to see at Steak ‘n Shake.  After the incident in January, I did a lot of research about drive-thrus and experienced several different access options.  A Subway in Indiana had a touch-screen menu so I was able to experience what it would be like to use a touch-screen.  I visited the Culver’s restaurants that had the Order Assist system in place.  I met with the owner of Order Assist and suggested some modifications to the system to make it more accessible.
     
    Imagine the wonderful PR that would result from making a positive change to all of the restaurants and making the drive-thrus accessible, I said.
     
    We quickly learned that the attorneys for Steak ‘n Shake had no interest in pursuing any changes to the Steak ‘n Shake drive-thrus that would require a physical change to the system.  They believed that training their employees and providing pre-printed menus would be enough.  Neither attorney had even made an attempt to explore the systems that were in use.  They were not going to bring about a meeting with the corporate executives who could implement those changes.  It was pretty apparent that they wanted me to settle it, not blog about it anymore and make it all go away.  
    The attorneys brought in the head trainer/manager who discriminated against me.  He stiffly issued a canned apology and then left the room.  The attorneys would not allow me to say a word or ask questions.   After the apology, I got up and left the room.  All the emotions of that January day came flooding back– to be denied service because you are deaf in this day and age means that we have so much more work ahead of us to obtain equal access.
     
    So I’ll be joining Karen Tumeh in filing a complaint against a corporation for discrimination in the drive-thru.  For the last six months, I explored this issue and tried to affect some positive changes in drive-thru access. I really hoped that Steak ‘n Shake was going to be a leader in this.
     
    It’s just a shame that the corporations don’t want our business.