Ageless Passions by Karen Putz

Author: Karen Putz

  • Dad Beats Cancer!

    We were standing at the edge of the pier, looking at the water that lapped over the brick wall in front of my parent’s house.   The lake water was at a record high and it threatened to creep into the crawlspace if it rose any higher.  Every day, Dad was climbing down the rickety crates that formed a makeshift staircase into the crawl space to check on the sump pump.  Some of the neighbor’s homes had water in them.  He was doing everything he could to keep the water from coming into the house.

    “It’s been a shitty summer,” my Dad murmured. He gazed at the flagpole, which was surrounded by water.  The brick wall around that area was nowhere to be seen.

    Shitty summer.

    The flooded lake.  The cancer.

    Dad was in the middle of his six-week regime of grueling cancer treatment: five days of radiation followed by chemotherapy inserted into his port.  The rest of us stood by helpless as we watch the pounds slip away.  The tumor that blocked his esophagus made it increasingly harder for him to swallow any food.  By Labor Day weekend, he was sleeping all day and all night.  He could no longer get any food down and was only taking tiny sips of water.

    I fought back the panic all weekend.  I was terrified.  I didn’t want to entertain the possibility that he might not get better.  So I asked him to start thinking about where he wanted to go after he got well.  He looked at me with a little bit of surprise–why the hell was I talking about taking a trip when he was so sick and we didn’t even know what the prognosis was?  I didn’t care if I was being a Pollyanna about the whole thing.  So we talked about Yellowstone and the logistics of getting there and what to see.

    By Labor Day, I tried to convince him to call the doctor and request a feeding tube.  Being the strong, stubborn WWII vet that he is, he insisted that he didn’t want to bother the doctor on a holiday.

    “Promise you’ll call him tomorrow?” I asked before I got in the car to head home.

    “Yea, I’ll call him.”

    He finally obtained the feeding tube toward the end of the week.  Rather than getting better, he continued to decline as the effects of the chemo still barreled on.  He still could not eat and that worried me.

    “Don’t you think he would be able to eat by now if the chemo and radiation worked?” I speculated with my sister.  Naturally, we feared the worse.  Sixty seven pounds had melted off my Dad’s frame and he hardly moved from the living room chair.

    Dad was scheduled for a PET scan last week to determine if the tumor was still growing or if it had responded to treatment.

    We all held our breath.

    My mother sent an email.

    “Good News!!!” was in the subject line.  I just looked at the subject line and started to cry.

    “Just got back from the doctor,” Mom wrote. “The cancer cells are dead. He goes back for a checkup in three months.  This is such great news!”

    So, Dad, where did you say you wanted to travel to again?

  • The American Sign Language Journey

    I’m sitting in a restaurant in Northbrook as I type this.  I have just dropped off my daughter at the International Center for Deafness and the Arts (ICODA) and I’m passing the time as she practices for the upcoming Peter Pan play.  Three, sometimes, four times a week, we make the one hour trek from our home to the tiny theatre where she joins a group of deaf and hard of hearing kids of all ages.  Each and every time, she’s so excited to go and hang with her friends.

    “Hey Mom, look at this neat ASL phrase I learned today!” she signs. 

    She’s picking up the lingo, learning the slang and gaining more and more confidence each day as she converses with the kids.  This is from the kid who spoke entire sentences at the age of fourteen months and wanted nothing to do with ASL when her hearing suddenly went south at the age of four.  She’s the hard of hearing kid who spends time yakking on the phone with her best friend from Texas, the one who is quick to raise her hand at school and jump into a hot debate– the child that I thought would never embrace sign.  

    And here she is, surrounded by a group of kids who are signing faster than the speed of light and she’s not shying away– she’s right in there asking them to repeat.  Sign it again, she signs, when the rapid-fire signing “goes over her head.”

    With a start, I realize she’s applying the same advocating technique that we’ve taught her over and over throughout the years– when communication doesn’t happen, change it so that it does.  Ask for a repeat, ask for a re-phrase, ask for it in a way that gets the message understood.  She’s soaking up the ASL and incorporating it– and loving it.

    There was a time she hated it.

    “Mom, don’t sign.  I don’t need it.  I can hear you just fine.”

    It has been fun watching the metamorphasis over the years, how the diverse communication modes have weaved in and out of her life and how she’s grown and changed.  I love how she’s been able to find her niche with a variety of friends– hearing, hard of hearing, deaf/Deaf. 

    I’m often reminded of something that I first heard from Janet DesGeorges and Leeanne Seaver about the parenting journey when it comes to making choices for our kids:

    Nothing is set in stone.

    Sometimes when we set out on a certain path, we think we’re heading down that path for a long time.  And sometimes our kids lead us down a different path or change the direction in our sails. 

    Sometimes the time is just right for a new direction and as parents, we just have to give our kids the opportunity to explore all the different paths.

  • Wordless Wednesday– It’s a Slam Dunk!

    Wordless Wednesday:  It’s a slam dunk off the side of the boat!

  • Donald Moore, IT Professional and Blogger

    Donald Moore works as an Information Technology professional at the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. He works on a technology team that provides Content Management solutions to other Federal Reserve Districts across the country (there are 12 Districts). At night, Donald runs a blog at Prosumertech on the use of technologies and accessibility features to help others learn what technology solutions are available for everyday use for the deaf/hoh consumers. The idea for his blog started due to his on-going exposure to technology at work, curiosity of new technologies for personal needs, and conversations and questions from others seeking help.

    Where did you attend school and what were the school years like?

    I am the only deaf/hard of hearing member of my family. We did not utilize sign language during my childhood because I have some residual hearing, and was encouraged to attend public schools via mainstreaming. Minor accommodations were usually done to address my needs in school. Since my dad was a Geologist with major oil and mining companies, it required frequent relocations. In addition, being actively involved with Scouts, along with the frequent relocations; it gave me the opportunity to travel extensively throughout the U.S. I didn’t really learn sign language until I took a summer crash course at Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C. just prior to enrolling for my freshman year.

    Since I grew up in several major cities (Houston, NJ/NYC, Tulsa, Dallas, D.C. and now Chicago), prior to attending Gallaudet University, the availability of the Internet, meeting other deaf/hoh individuals was not commonplace. With the frequent relocations, attending a number of different schools sometimes presented challenges. Today we have family members located across the country; we stay in touch via email, chat, and SMS.

    When you were younger, what did you want to be when you “grew up”?

    When I was younger, some thought I would have a career in architecture and drafting, this was before the PC become popular, and the wide spread of consumer technologies. While in high school I was involved in Explorer Scouts with ExxonMobil in their IT department in Houston, which was my first real exposure to the use of computers and technology in the workplace.

    When I started on my bachelor’s degree at Gallaudet University, I first had some interest in Accounting and Business Law, but due to course scheduling conflicts and availability, and that new technologies were appearing – I had become interested in a career in the Information Technology field. I wanted to combine the need to solve business problems by the use of technology. During the course of my career, I have stayed current with technologies at home and in the work place by exploration, readings, taking graduate coursework, and seeking involvements in new projects at work.

    Education I have a Masters in Management Information Systems and E-Commerce from the University of Maryland. As well as a Bachelors in Computer Information Systems / Business Administration from Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C. I am currently pursuing my MBA via an online program, also with the University of Maryland.

    What is your current job and what is a typical day like on the job?

    There is no such a thing as a “typical” work day within an IT department. I often have to juggle a number of things: such as attending meetings and training sessions, crafting the next PowerPoint or Intranet article, develop and test web / CMS applications, work on application or database design specifications, interact with employees cross-country via instant messaging, and utilize email for more detailed communications. The variations of tasks, problems, and technologies helps makes working within the IT field interesting and challenging!

    Previous Work Experience

    <!–[if !vml]–><!–[endif]–>As some say “The jobs of tomorrow haven not yet been created”. I encourage everyone to remain flexible and adaptive to the work place. My career hasn’t been exactly in a straight line from point “A” to “B”. During high school I worked summer jobs in restaurants and mowed lawns for a builder, for a year ran computer labs in college, did a technology internship with H.U.D. for one summer. Out of college, I started in the hardware/help desk area, then progressed to programming with mainframes, financial data reporting, served as a web master, and now work with web, content management and digital assets.

    What advice would you share with a student who is considering career choices?

    In today’s work environment, you are ultimately responsible for your own career development. Do research, talk to others in the field(s) you are interested in, and make an effort to stay on top of your field by staying current with the trends and technologies used in the work place. If offered, take advantage of training opportunities with your employer – whether it’s for on the job training or getting support for an advanced degree. I’m currently studying for my MBA, even though I already have a Masters in Computer Information Systems – a lot has changed in the work place with technology within the past 10 years. Go for a career where your interests and abilities are – it doesn’t necessarily have to be what your parents want you to do/be.

    Donald Moore can be reached at: mooredlm (at) comcast.net

    Blog: http://prosumertech.blogspot.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mooredlm

    LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/donaldlmoore

     

  • Why I Love My Z-150 Made by Tandberg

    Just a year ago, I was making phone calls mostly by text relay or a Captel phone and occasionally by webcam using video relay.  In January, I took a position as a Sales Manager for Zvrs and I was introduced to the Z-150 videophone which is made by Tandberg.  Tandberg is a world leader for videoconferencing and apparently Cisco feels the same way– they purchased Tandberg in a recent deal for three billion dollars.

    I think they got a great deal.

    My life took a huge change when the Z-150 came into my life.   I was introduced to single-line VCO:  when I make a phone call, I use my voice to talk directly to the hearing person on the other end of the connection.  I don’t need a second phone to do this, I speak directly into the videophone and the person can hear me.  Perched on the screen in front of me is a Zvrs interpreter.

    A few weeks ago, for the first time, I called my friend Cassie to talk about plans for our kids.  In the past, we always texted or used email but I decided to give her a call because we wanted to discuss something in detail.  It was the first time that she experienced a VCO call and she was simply blown away.

    “How are you keeping up with me so well?” she asked.

    “I’ve got a great interpreter in front of me and he’s doing a great job!” I explained.  The interpreter grinned.

    “It’s almost like you’re hearing,” she said.

    The neat thing is that people can call me up using a regular ten-digit number.  I don’t have to explain anything to anyone when I give out my number.  I just tell them, “Call me,” and they do.  When they dial the ten-digit number, it automatically routes through Zvrs and my Z-150 alerts me to the call with an email and then the videophone flashes on the screen.  I press a button and answer with, “Hi, Karen here!”

    I’m not kidding when I say that my life changed after getting a Z-150– because now I’m on the phone all the time.  I used to dread making phone calls because the other person would become impatient and hang up.  I still work as a Deaf Mentor on the side and I love being able to call up families and connect with them.  I use the Zvrs Spanish-speaking interpreters to connect with Latino families.

    Now that Cisco has Tandberg, it won’t be long until most of America has a Tandberg sitting on their desk.

    How cool is it that a deaf person is ahead of the phone trend?

    Update: Tandberg picked up the blog on their site: Videoconferencing Changes Deaf Mother’s Life.

    Tandberg Telepresence Helps Deaf Mom Communicate Better

  • Happy Birthday to my Homebirthed Kiddo

    Twelve years ago, I homebirthed my youngest kiddo.  Happy Birthday, Steven!

    Happy Birthday to my Baby!

    Take This Pill and Have Your Baby in the Morning

  • Scentsy Makes My House Smell Nice

    My friend Diana sells Scentsy— the wickless candle with the fabulous, chic holders.  I volunteered to host a party to get her started in her new business but my first attempt ended in a canceled party two weeks ago — very few gals were able to come.  But last night, we had a good turn out and a fun time together.

    My daughter came up to me in the middle of the party and asked, “Mom!  What did you do?  The bathroom smells great!”

    I guess she noticed the Vanilla Walnut wafing from the plugged in Scentsy instead of the usual boy-mis-aims-and-leaves-a-scent that usually permeats the bathroom. Needless to say, that was one of the scents I selected for my purchase.

    You know what that means?  The next time my Mom comes to visit, I can mask my lack of cleaning skills by simply plugging in the Scentsy and popping in the Pomegranate Ice.

    Diana demonstrates.

    Roberta, Lori (The Facebook Queen) and Lisa.

    Jane ponders what scent she’s going to pick.  Or maybe she’s wondering if there’s any Tuscan Lemonade left?

    Come on girls, it’s important to choose the right scent.  Concentrate!

    What’s a gal’s night out without some Tuscan Lemonade with limoncello?

    Next time, don’t leave so early, gals or you’ll miss out on our group picture!  It was 1 or 2 a.m. before we called it a night.

  • Julie Chavez, Medicare Project Coordinator

    julie chavez

    Julie Chavez is the president of the Illinois Association of the Deaf and previously worked as a Deaf Services Coordinator at the Dupage Center for Independent Living.  I interviewed her recently to learn more about her life growing up and the job she currently has:
    Tell me a bit about yourself growing up.  What was it like growing up in your family?
     
    I was born in Jacksonville, Illinois.  My mother had rubella during her first trimester of her pregnancy with me.  Doctor wanted my Mom to terminate the pregnancy- Mom refused. (Thank goodness!  Her life would be dull without me!! LOL!)  Once I arrived into the arrive into the world on November 3rd, I looked “normal” so there was no need to worry until later.  Mom noticed that I wasn’t responding like my older siblings would.  Doctor said there was nothing wrong.  That wasn’t how my mom felt.  She knew something wasn’t quite right with me because I wasn’t speaking and I wasn’t responding like “normal” kids do at the age of 2 and 3 years of age.  Finally, the Doctor told my mom that I was “slow”. Mom didn’t believe that but in the mean time, my Dad was transferred to Chicago so we moved to West Chicago, Illinois. I began Kindergarten at Gary School- I recall vividly, being in a class room and looking at everyone- watching their mouths move but I wasn’t understanding a single word, I recall feeling isolated, feeling the fear, I recall every moment as if it were yesterday..  I was notorious for escaping the school building and running home…  My Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Messer, bless her heart had the patience of a saint with me!!  Mom met a woman who noticed that I exhibited the same symptoms as her son who was just diagnosed as having mild to moderate hearing loss.  This lady recommended that I go get a complete hearing evaluation done at Northern Illinois University.  Well, I only had two words in my vocabulary so a complete hearing evaluation was not possible until I learned my vocabulary.  I spent all summer with the lady who told mom about NIU learning my vocabulary and by the end of the summer- I had a vocubulary of 500 words!  I still have all of the stuff that this lady used as teaching tools!!  Finally, hearing evaluation was performed and I was diagnosed with mild to moderate hearing loss.  I remember being fitted with a hearing aid- I HATED IT!! It was overwhelming for me because there were noises that I never heard before and by this time, I was sent to schools that provided programs for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing.  I was notorious for throwing my hearing aids out the bus window until Mom became smart and had me fork over the hearing aids to the busdriver… My poor Dad had to pay for two new hearing aids out of his own pocket to replace the ones I tossed out the bus window..  No insurance covered hearing aids (don’t get me started on this topic!)  By the way, my mom has pictures of me one prior to being diagnosed with hearing loss and one after the diagnosis and wearing hearing aids.
     
    Growing up, I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters.  My life was spent getting on the bus by 6 a.m. and not coming home until about 5:30-6:00 pm.  I never really got to spend a lot of time with my siblings because I was gone majority of the day.  Weekends, this is where I spent quality time with family- all were told not to learn sign language because the doctors, audiologists, school team felt that my parents should raise me oral- sign language was not needed it was only for the deaf not for the hearing impaired.  My parents did what they were told… I love my family but I always felt excluded because it was difficult for me to keep up with conversation at the dinner table, so what I did to survive was “mimic” everything they did.  Today, my family wishes they learned sign language and I tell them that they still can!!  Even today when we have family gatherings- my husband and I still get lost with conversations at the dinner table- my family forgets that we can’t hear everything; our boys usually will keep us up to speed..  Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I have tons of fond memories of stuff we did.
     
    Where did you attend school and what were the school years like? 
     
    I went to Lincoln School, Hammerschmidt School in Lombard, Emerson School in Elmhurst, Westfield Jr. High in Bloomingdale, Wheaton Christian in West Chicago and then Hinsdale South in Darien.  School years prior to Middle School were tough because there were debates over the Deaf and hard of hearing- should they be segregated or not.. one year, D/HH were together then the next- we were separated… it was a rough time until they realized that those of us who were oral needed to learn sign language in order to communicate with our friends who were profoundly deaf. Middle school was great, then I wanted to see if I could attend a hearing school- I attended Wheaton Christian High School located in West Chicago- did not receive any accommodations and that was the absolute worse year of my school career.  I felt isolated, alone and regretted my decision.  However, I had one friend, Martha Lefley, who took me under her wing and helped me with my homework and to keep up with the class.. with out her, I would have failed my freshman year.  I begged to go to Hinsdale South, my mom was disappointed but she realized that I know what I needed and she realized that I needed to be with peers who are also deaf or hard of hearing.  Began my sophmore year at Hinsdale South and I was a happy camper, I finally felt like I “belonged”.  Hinsdale South was crucial in preparing me for life after high school.  I still keep in touch with several teachers.  THANK YOU HINSDALE SOUTH!!  This is also where I met my hubby!! (That’s another story for later!)
     
    When you were younger, what did you want to be when you “grew up?” 
     
    I always wanted to be a nurse.  Growing up in my neighborhood, my friends would come to me if they got hurt- I would run and get my first aid kit and fix them up..  During my high school days, I was known as the “momma” of class of 1983, why?  if anyone had a problem, I was their confidant.. as you can see this is where it led me to who I am today.
     
    Where did you attend college and what did you major in?  What degree(s) do you have today?
     
    My college dreams were shattered when I applied for the nursing program 3 times at NIU- was told that I would never be a nurse because I was hard of hearing.  NTID and Galludet didn’t offer nursing programs at the time.  I gave up and I wish I didn’t- and I regret it deeply.  I never did go to college until after I married and had two kids.  I’m still working on pursuing my associate’s degree.
     
    Tell me about your previous work experience.
     
    My previous work experience was as a Deaf Services Coordinator..  I provide services to the Deaf/Hard of Hearing community such as peer counseling, advocacy, information and referral, and Independent Living Skills.  My job was to promote independence, self advocacy etc.  I realized that many of my consumers had a need for assistance with Medicare, medicaid, SSDI and SSI..  I had no clue how this worked so I decided to be proactive and went to training, took a state exam and passed with flying colors and now I was state certified to help with Medicare, Medicaid, SSDI and SSI to the general public and boy, did I fall in love with this field!!  Don’t ask but I love the challenges it brings and how rewarding it is when we unravel the mess- and seeing the smile on my consumer’s faces once everything is resolved!  Advocacy- I loved this part of my job with a passion!  I love teaching this to my consumers and watching them grow stronger, build confidence and self esteem…  I also loved networking with the professionals out there and educating them on disability awareness and working side by side with legislators..  It is an awesome job that comes with gaining awesome experience.
     
    What is your current job and what is a typical day like on the job?
     
    My current job title is Make Medicare Work Project Coordinator.  I counsel individuals on Medicare/Medicaid, supplemental insurance, and the works.  I also provide workshops, presentations etc..  I work with the Make Medicare Work Coalition as well as AgeOptions, we are a team that provides services to the community to educate them on Medicare/Medicaid and keep them informed of upcoming changes and Lord knows we have changes coming for 2010!! 
     
    What advice would you share with a student who is considering career choices?
     
    When considering your career choice, I believe that high schools offer programs where you can intern somewhere and at least you can test it out to see if this is what you really want to do…  Talk to people who are in the career that  you are considering, see if you can “shadow” them for a few weeks.  Investigate your career choices thoroughly..  do me a HUGE favor- do NOT ever let anyone tell you that you CAN’T do it because you are deaf.  Take it from me, I let them tell me that and I gave up.  Don’t take NO for an answer.  Get out there and show them what you are made of.  What angers me is how people focuses on the DISABILITY and not on the ABILITY!!  I love the quote by I. King Jordan, “We can do everything that a person does EXCEPT hear”.

  • How Deaf Weddings are Different

    It was an absolutely stunning day for a wedding on Saturday. The colorful mums were in full bloom and the sun began a slow descent when Ron and Meredith exchanged their vows in American Sign Language. About half of the guests were deaf or hard of hearing. There were supposed to be two interpreters there, one for the audience and one for the couple, but one interpreter did not show. It was difficult to view the interpreter from where I was sitting but I caught as much as I could. Standing on either side of the couple was the groom’s two young sons with the cutest smiles on their faces.

    I especially enjoy deaf/hard of hearing weddings because at those weddings, communication is often a breeze at the dinner table and on the dance floor. When the hubby and I are seated at a wedding where all the guests at my table are hearing, we are often left out of conversations that simply flow too fast for us to follow. Sometimes we’ll gamely attempt to join in the conversation and let everyone know what they need to do to include us. The conversation will slow, we’ll toss in some banter, but it usually ends up going back to the same fast pace at some point. Then we end up talking to each other.

    Deaf/hard of hearing weddings are a whole different ball game. Conversations zip back and forth visually while the bread gets passed around. Shoulders are tapped, arms are waved and the energy in the air takes on a different vibe. I catch the eye of a friend two tables down and we catch up on news while we wait for the salad to arrive.

    It’s not long before the first napkin pops up in the air. Then another joins, and another– until the air in the whole room is pulsating with the napkins that are being whipped around and around. The usual tradition for a bride and groom to kiss is the sound of a spoon tapping against a water glass. That tradition doesn’t serve well at deaf and hard of hearing weddings where the couple may not hear the tinking sound. Instead, it is a tradition to whip the napkins around in the air to signal the couple that it is time for a kiss.

    On the way home from the wedding, the hubby and I reflected on the evening. “I always like going to deaf weddings,” he commented. “We can just kick back and not have to struggle to understand everyone, ya know?”

    Yes, I know.

  • What I Learned from Laughter: Laughing at the Small Stuff

    Every now and then, I like to participate in Robert Hruzek’s group writing projects–they’re always a fun read!  This month’s subject focuses on:

    What I Learned from Laughter.

    At first, I thought I would just share the blog post I wrote over at Chicago Moms Blog:

    When Your Only Option is a Thong.

    When I wrote that one, several friends emailed me and told me they couldn’t stop laughing.  I wasn’t laughing too much when I wrote it, because I was overwhelmed at the laundry piles around my house.  But hey, I learned a valuable lesson from that episode: do your laundry on a regular basis and you won’t have to resort to thongs.  Or worse, commando, as Vicky once teased on Twitter.

    When I think about what I’ve learned from laughter, there’s one episode in my life that stands out.  When the three kids were younger, I often had days when I counted the minutes until the hubby would arrive home and provide an extra pair of eyes and hands in my quest to keep three kids in one place.

    My oldest kiddo, David, was often on hurricane cycle.  He would bounce from one activity to the next (like his Mom??) and leave a path of destruction in his wake.  I once put the baby down for a nap and left David and Lauren parked in front of the TV so I could quickly go to the bathroom.   I walked into the kitchen to find the two of them drawing wavy lines on the kitchen wall.  In a matter of seconds, David had grabbed some crayons off the counter and coerced his sister into drawing artwork on the flat white builder’s paint.  The artwork stayed on the wall for over a year– because neither the hubby nor I could muster up enough energy to paint over the crayon.

    One evening, David was a category five and my patience was long gone.  I was just trying to survive long enough until the hubby arrived home so I could hand off the kid duties to him.  The hubby arrived home and surveyed the toys strewn about, the lunch dishes on the table and me with the harried look on my face.  He could tell it was “one of those days.”

    After a hurried dinner, I filled the bathtub up and went to grab towels from the other bathroom.  As I walked back in, my eyes caught something floating in the bathtub.

    I screamed.

    It was a brand new book:  Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

    I fished it out of the water, wiped as much of the wet stuff off as I could and started to cry.  I sat on the toilet and the tears kept coming.  Mothering three kids just two years apart had taken its toll and came crashing down on me at that moment.  Just then, David came over, climbed in my lap and started hugging me.

    “I love you Mommy.”  He hugged me again.

    My eyes went back to the book and I saw the title more clearly.  “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”

    I started to laugh.

    Alternating between tears and laughter, I smiled at the irony of the whole thing.

    It is now years later– the little boy has grown into a young man– but I still have the book with the warped pages stuck together.  It’s a reminder of that hectic time of three kids under the age of four–when I thought the day would never end and I’d never have a minute to myself.  Today, the kids amuse themselves and there’s a little more time for me.  How quickly the time flies, how valuable that lesson of laughter is.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff.  And remember to laugh in the process.