I asked a simple question:
“Are you living your dream life?”
The question just came to me one day and I was curious how other people would answer such a simple, yet loaded question. So I started asking around. Just that question, “Are you living your dream life?”
When I asked it face-to-face, I got some startled looks. When I asked it via email, Twitter or IM, I sometimes had people asking me more questions.
“What do you mean, dream life?”
“Why are you asking this kind of question?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Dream life, who has a dream life?”
Whoa, baby.
But others got right down to it.
Ben Lachman, a friend from the Chicago area, was pretty open with his answer. “Nope,” was his answer. “Well, my dream life is basically pretty selfish,” he explained. “It has to do with massive financial success so that I can use that to support my hobbies and my family, as well as contributing money to causes that I support. Also, my dream life contains a loving wife and children, and those are yet to be attained.”
Ben has encountered some stumbling blocks along the way to financial success, but he has no doubt that he’ll be able to achieve his dream life.
Phyllis from Ima On (and Off) the Bima says that while her life may not seem interesting, she’s definitely living her dream life. “I have a wonderful family — husband, children, parents — we are all blessed with good health, I live in a nice home, with access to almost anything I could possibly want,” she said. “I work in what is truly my dream job: I decided that I wanted to be a rabbi when I was 12 years old and here I am. And to be honest, very few obstacles stood in my path. It all seems very charmed and I know it — and I can only appreciate it and be thankful for it, and know that blessings are here for us to accept and live and love and cherish…so even when things don’t seem quite right or I am annoyed with someone, or the kids wake me up all night or the laundry doesn’t get done, in the moment I might get cranky or annoyed (trust me, I do) but in the grand scheme of things I know how lucky I am.”
Over at Crunchy Carpets (whose motto is, “Clean socks are a privilege, not a right”–my kind of Mom!) Kerry says she isn’t quite living her dream life, but she knows what it looks like: No hassles from the in-laws, no pain for her husband, his website taking off, a home big enough for them all–and money to enjoy it.
But she’s not done. There’s also another baby and another home somewhere near the ocean or perhaps out in the country. And to top it all off, her dream life includes having her blog take off and bring in the big bucks.
Oooo, nice dream life. I like it.
If there’s anyone who I think is living a dream life, that would be Peter Shankman. The guy skydives for fun. I stumbled across his blog just a few weeks ago. Peter is the CEO of the PR firm, Geek Factory, and he recently launched Help a Reporter, which is growing so fast (11,000 and counting) that he is connecting reporters with sources at lightning speed. So when I asked Peter that dream question, he simply said, “I’m trying to!” But he also had more to share: “I think anyone can [live a dream life]–it simply comes down to not being afraid. If it doesn’t end with ‘time of death was…’ or ‘international incident,’ or ‘bail is set at…’ then why the hell not try it? You can always get a job somewhere and make money if it doesn’t work.”
Joanna Young, from Confident Writing, tells me that her dream life is in the process. “I’m creating it, building it, writing it down to make it happen and grateful for the good bits I’ve got.” Joanne recommends the book, Write it Down, Make it Happen
Some people shared emails and asked me not to include their answers in the blog. No, they said, they weren’t living their dream life. Life was hard, money was scarce, they were in jobs they didn’t like, some had no goals, and some were in the middle of life changes that could possibly lead them to their dream lives, but they weren’t ready to make those decisions public.
If there’s anyone living a dream life, I knew it had to be my brother. So I fired off the question to him. “Yup!” he responded. “Airplanes, islands and gas to get there, it doesn’t get any better.” My brother and his wife are on Kelly’s Island up at Lake Erie and they’re heading over to New Jersey in his plane to visit her family tomorrow. Ah yes, dream life, indeed.
So I turned to my friend Sue. Sue and I have known each other since college and we’ve shared a lot together. Sue went through a divorce, went back to school to get another degree, and met her current husband at a Halloween party. She’s happily married to a great guy, so of course, I emailed the question to her.
“As for the husband and kids, everything’s great!” she said. “But I want a job where I can be mentally stimulated, use my mind and make tons of money!” Her other desire for the dream life is to have someone come and clean her house on a regular basis. Oh yeah, I have that dream too.
And then Sue shot an email back to me:
“Are you living your dream life?” she asked me.
So I had to sit back and think about that for a second. And I came to the realization that, yes I am living a dream life. I’ve got a hubby and three great kids, my extended family, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and chocolate stashed in the desk drawer. Toss in a great circle of friends, a well-behaved dog (most of the time) and a place to escape to on the weekends. I do have dreams yet to be lived, for that’s what makes the dream life so good– one can create more and more dreams to experience as life is lived.
So tell me, are you living your dream life?
Comments
33 responses to “Are You Living Your Dream Life?”
Yeah funny how it falls to material things…it really doesn’t….it is more the sense of security and ability…the lack of worry….and hardship….our family has been through crap in the last year….we live in hopes and fears of no more at least for a while…..to just breathe and enjoy.
Great Question!
When I was a teen I had the typical dream of being a famous actress and screen writer. Wanted the whole Hollywood flashy life and everything. Then I had a wonderful wake up call during a missions trip to China, my dream changed to wanting to be able to work with the children. While I still have that dream I think… I AM living a dream life. I have a wonderful and loving husband- who is better at changing diapers then I- three beautiful little boys, and the skills to be able to work from home so I can be there for all their firsts and quirky moments.
After thinking about it- I am living parts of my ‘dream’. I get to write on my blog and in my journals for the boys. I’ve been a pirate, a lion, and even the voice of Elmo a few times- so I can also cross actress of my list. I have three children of my own I get to work with and help become better humans- so I can cross humanitarian off the list as well.
While working from home in my bright green- but o-so-comfy pajama pants isn’t the exact flashy lifestyle I didn’t dream about- it’s still flash and I love it!
Alaina Fredericks last blog post..It’s summer… now what?
Ah, Alaina–there are many, many people out there who would love to work from home in comfy PJs. You are blessed, indeed!
I’ve thought about this questions since you twittered earlier today.
I’ve got parts of my dream life going on. My husband, the kids, family, friends, dogs and owning our first house — all spectacular things. The house was a dream for at least a decade.
Off the top of my head – I’d like to be writing full time (and supporting said family, dogs, and house) from home. Big time dream? A house at the coast and give our house now to my oldest son when he’s an adult. Have a bit more fun money for things like vacations and big trips.
Maybe have a third child – but working from home full-time would have to happen first.
Yea, so writing full-time, traveling and a second house on the coast added to my life now – would be awesome.
Otherwise I’m almost already there. Great post and great question!
Genevieves last blog post..Mama Reads: From illegal home births to pranks gone wrong
great post. i really liked peter’s answer “i’m trying to…” — this is a great way to live life, isn’t it? thanks for the reminder (and the link!)
phylliss last blog post..Watching…
WOW! You even have chocolate stashed away?!? Good for you~! I feel I’ve had a pretty good life so far. I’m going through a transitional phase right now–exploring what I want to do as an empty-nester. We don’t have a lot of money and I’ve never wanted much– but at the moment my current dream is to unload all the excess stuff around here. I want a simple life, a few hobies, and to travel. I’ve been working on making all that happen.
Kim
kims last blog post..How do deaf enjoy music?
That’s interesting….
Used to be I thought my dream life would consists of a husband, kids and a home with lots of animals.
Now, I’m trying to attain the dream life of not having to work and live my life everyday as if I’m on a vacation. That is the dream life. An island would be a plus.
I tweeted today that I am trying to… I think I’ll take a minute to expand. While I always thought I was living a dream,I’ve now assessed that it was all goals. I was good at achieving goals. But for the last 8 months, I’ve realized they weren’t MY goals. These goals did me good. But, they were my parents or grandparents expectations. Wanting me to go to college for this or that, or it was getting the next available job merely because I didn’t have one and I needed an income – without thinking about what I really wanted to do.
Right now I am happy, living a dream life – well I’m still conjuring up what that dream is suppose to look like. I’m grateful for my many blessings and even more grateful for the patience I am enduring (later in life) than having been put on the path earlier. I keep thinking that I’m living a journey – the dream – not so sure what it looks like right now.
codadivas last blog post..Sign Language Injury
It was such a great question Karen, because as you say it is loaded, and it’s also one we do (quietly) ask ourselves.
As I see it there are downsides in focusing on a ‘dream’ life because it means you’re always chasing after rainbows, and will never be satisfied. What I’m trying to do now is focus on the additional things I want to bring into my life or make happen, and the benefits that will bring (for me and others) at the same time as being deeply grateful for what I’ve got.
Gratitude definitely helps you to realise that the dream life might just be the one that’s unfolding round about you after all.
Thanks for writing this up so kindly and gracefully, with respect for others dreams.
Joanna
PS The book is great – well worth a read, and putting her ideas into action
Joanna Youngs last blog post..Thanks Everyone
Karen, I am a Vedantin from India. What you probably know as a Hindu. For Vedantins, life itself is a dream. It is unreal. What you probably know as Maya or inaccurately translated as illusion. In Eastern religions, there is no substance to this life and it is but a dream. This has now been kind of supported by modern physists like Fritjof Capra.
So, to your specific query, Yes, my life is a dream!
Ramana Rajgopauls last blog post..Dogs as pets
Great question, Karen! Sadly, I had to give up my childhood dream of becoming a spaceman. (Not an astronaut, mind you, but a spaceman!) Unfortunately, colonizing the Solar System is a tad behind schedule…
My dream life is sortof unfolding as I go. Not there yet, but then I don’t expect to actually “arrive” until it’s over. What I’m doing now (consulting) is where I’ve wanted to be for a while, and it finally happened, so in that sense things are working out.
But I’m always interested in what’s headed this way over the horizon. Just the way I am…
Robert Hruzeks last blog post..Bizarro-World
I’d say I’m almost living my dream life. I work out of a home office, my kids come home from school instead of go to after school care, I play tennis regularly, and I’m an active PTA volunteer and board member.
Almost… I’d like to work fewer hours in my paid job so I can spend more time with my kids, in PTA, and traveling.
Meryl K. Evanss last blog post..Week of June 16 Prize Winners
When I decided to become a regular education teacher. I was told that would be a nice dream. Well 14 years later, I am still living that dream. Sure it would be nice to really be paid more than I am for this dream, but some dreams are worth more than money.
It was a dream to have a child, and after 9 years of trying we were blessed with a healthy baby. Nine years later, she is still the best blessing.
My dream life does not contain movie stars or fantasy homes, it contains a simple peaceful life of family, friends, and teaching. So yup, I think it is a dream life.
@CrunchyCarpets — Yeah, after having a bad year, it changes the perspective, doesn’t it? May more good things go your way!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Genevieve All that stuff would be icing on the cake, eh?!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Phyllis, judging from what I’ve see of Peter, he really is trying to live that dream life!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Kim Being an empty-nester–it sure sounds like you’re in a wonderful position for that dream life! Enjoy!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Joanna You make a great point– we must take the time to enjoy and appreciate the life we have while chasing the rainbows. 🙂
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Ramana– now that’s an amazing perspective of life!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Robert Well, Robert, I heard there’s a job at Disney managing one of their Space Mountain rides– send in your application today and you’ll be a bona fide spaceman!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Meryl You’ll either need to win the lottery, or haul in bigger assignments that pay 10 grand per article. 🙂
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
@Valerie– The simple life–enjoy!
Karen Putzs last blog post..Are You Living Your Dream Life?
I been living my dream life since 87.
Hmm.
I have never been much of a dreamer – other than daydreaming. 🙂
I wouldn’t mind “Rock Star”, but I’m more of a “cocoon” person.
So, I guess, enjoying my job (everyday but Monday), having a hobby where people call me a “rock star”
(http://billcreswell.wordpress.com/new-page/)
Having a second chance at marriage, and marrying a WONDERFUL wife, (can you see my hands signing that?), having great kids that make me proud.
Who needs a dream? I got life!
Wow. That just make me think ” I am living my dream life”. Well I was searching “I am living their dream” because I am thinking of little kids in third world country who would give anything to be in my position. I student with learning disability but I made to the University of Washington. I have loving parents and family (though they are seperated and very traditional and different). I am so bless to be able to breathe and live every minutes. My dream career is a land developer and thanks to my construction professor, I am able to sit in his graduate class and meet a real LAND DEVELOPER. I knew my path to my dream career was get a BA in Construction Management and then go for my MBA and become a land developer (some of my friends and family think I think dream too big) and I met the land who graduated with BA in CM and then when for his MBA at Columbia and became a Land developer!!! So it isn’t only a dream, it is obtainable!
I am so bless to be in school after a year and half of working 2 jobs at time and going to school while moving six places had really help make me want to be determine to succeed and stay one place!!!
I am absolutely living my dream life.
I have a great wife. I have 4 “jobs.” I teach martial arts, I do web design and web application development (and other sorts of programming). I edit & produce DVDs. I write.
Martial arts has been my passion for 30 years and counting. I love it and I love teaching it. I love the look in a student’s eyes when they *get* something. I love helping people find the same kinds of benefits in their lives that I have had in mine due to my martial arts training.
I enjoy web design, web application development and programming even though I mostly do it because it pays well.
I enjoy editing video and putting together the packaging. Mostly I work with martial arts videos but have done some other projects for community theaters and musicians.
I enjoy writing. At this point everything I’ve had published was related to martial arts in some way (a book called “Pondering of Principles”, a martial arts short story called “One Ting I Know” and the cover article for Nov 2008 Tae Kwon Do Times magazine). I am currently working on another martial arts book and a novel.
In short, I like all the hats I wear. I have a great wife who is very supportive. We just moved to Arizona (near Sedona) which is a place we both dearly love – and that is the only reason we moved here.
I have an incredible life that many people would kill to have. I travel and work with a wide variety of people doing things I enjoy doing. I never wake up and think, “Man, I *do not* want to go to work today.”
My days are filled with things I enjoy – teaching/training martial arts, working on one project or another or hiking in the beautiful outdoors.
Mike
Ben Lachman, a friend from the Chicago area, was pretty open with his answer.
Karen,
I got rotten news last night that a friend has cancer. That news has caused me to focus on what kind of life am I living RIGHT NOW. I get to be around people that love me all the time. I am teaching, volunteering, working my Melaleuca business and having a great time working. My kids are pretty happy and the grandkids are marvelous. Yeah, my live is great. My job allows me to help others live the kind of life they want. It’s also important to enjoy the process and not be so focused on the results.
@debworks
I’m a bit of a Johnny-come-lately for this post, but I have to say that, although my life is pleasant in many respects, I don’t believe I’ve obtained the dream life just yet. I do, of course, believe that it is very possible to acquire.
@Deb
I’m very sorry to hear about your friend, but I am glad you are focusing on your life and how it compares to your dream one.
I have been moving closer to my dream life for the laster 17 years. I’m about 15% there. I want to be a full time coach and international trainer, and I want to have a family. I think about my dream life every day and I will acheive it in the next few years.
Yes I am! Its great that you are asking this question and creating change and being a catalyst of change for the world. The more people that start thinking and acting on this… the better the world will be. All the best.
This is inspiring topic. Patience and striving hard is the best answer to the question. Dream life won’t come easily in just one click of your finger. You should think positive in every trials will come and don’t forget to ask God’s guidance. Thanks!
Everybody has a dream life of course but most of us consider the dream life they want to be more material. My dream is too simple. I want to see my family happy of what we have right now and continue what we are doing since this cycle of life will be what our children or young generation see. If they see that we are happy of what we are doing they’ll follow it. This is what we call contentment.