Mary Clark, Missing Her Smile

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The first thing I noticed when I met Mary Clark 23 years ago was her smile. We were in one of those dull, never-ending meetings which involved advocacy of some sort for our jobs, but after exchanging introductions, I knew there was something special about this gal. She was a quiet, gentle soul who had a way of speaking up which made everyone take notice.

We bonded over our journey of becoming deaf as adults and we got involved with many different organizations. Our paths often crossed at meetings. Mary helped birth the Association of Late-Deafened Adults (ALDA) and I lead the West Suburban Association of the Deaf.

We ended up pregnant at the same time. I gave birth to my first; she to her third daughter. As we watched our babies playing on the floor of her house and I sat there in exhaustion, asking her how she kept it all together when I was falling apart with just one kid. She threw her head back and laughed. “There are some days I just take it minute by minute.”

When her middle child became hard of hearing, we bonded yet again; this time, we worked together to start a parent organization, Illinois Hands & Voices. She wrote the first grant which gave us funds to run our first Mom’s Night Inn. She spoke at the event, sharing her journey with straightforward candor and openness.

I always looked forward to our lunches together. She was the kind of friend I could pour out my deepest thoughts and I’d get back a perspective I hadn’t considered previously or she’d dish out some practical advice.

Last October, we met for lunch and had one of our most profound conversations about life… and the shortness of it all. “I’ve been happy, I’ve been sad, I’m ok with it all,” she said.

Mary’s way-too-short life ended yesterday at 11:30 pm. I’m sad. Actually, I’m heartbroken. I know many others are too. She touched a lot of lives.

Her smile will remain forever in my mind.

There’s a tradition at the ALDA-Con where we stand in a circle, arm-in-arm during the last song of the night.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
And everything I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle
Because you are the wind beneath my wings.

This year, there will be a gap in the circle. We will miss you, Mary. You’re the wind beneath our wings.

Wake:
Thursday Aug 30th from 4:00pm until 8:00pm
Service at 7:00pm
Dreschler, Brown and Williams Funeral Home
203 S. Marion
Oak Park, Il

Comments

12 responses to “Mary Clark, Missing Her Smile”

  1. Marc Roer Avatar
    Marc Roer

    Mary… Miss you and love you! I am thankful we saw each other last Friday night! You are now with Beth as u spoke so well of her and you will bring her up to date. Your breath was taken but your spirit will live on in all of us. Rest in peace my dear!

  2. Rosemary Morrison Avatar
    Rosemary Morrison

    I got to know her better at Duppies last Friday . We had so much fun. This i will remember her last fun times with us.

  3. Jean Kuhn Avatar
    Jean Kuhn

    Karen, what a beautiful tribute to your lovely friend. I’m sure she is smiling at your right now.

  4. Janet Griffard Avatar
    Janet Griffard

    I’m so sorry Karen. It sounds like she was a beautiful person and friend.

  5. Karin Carver (Williams) Avatar
    Karin Carver (Williams)

    I met Mary through ALDA Inc. many years ago. I missed the last few conventions so havent seen Mary in awhile. I was blessed to have been part of an ALDA Ladies group that met once a year in New England. I miss those times and will miss Mary very much so. She is with God now in heaven so that should be a comfort to us all. God bless you Mary Clark.

  6. Nannaj Avatar
    Nannaj

    What a beautiful description of what your friendship was like with Mary. Hugs to you and your family. Hugs to her family too.

  7. Eileen F. Goran Avatar
    Eileen F. Goran

    Mary Edward Clark and I had been good friends for 35 years. We taught at two same schools. We never forget her fantastic parties. She was Mother Mary of ChicagoChapter of ALDA, but I called her Mary Poppins sometimes. I will miss my heart-to-heart conversations over dinner that we often had at Porretta’s. One Mary Clark on this planet is not enough. As all of you know, she was caring, kind, and non-revenging. I loved her as one of my several very good friends.
    Eileen F. Goran

  8. Donna Reiter Brandwein Avatar
    Donna Reiter Brandwein

    We will miss you, Mary.

  9. Marijo Wimbush Avatar
    Marijo Wimbush

    My heart breaks. It is so sad. My husband and I had dinner with her and a few of our friends in January at her home. It will be a time I will always treasurer.

    “God remains with us in these dark places and valleys, even when we feel out of control, lost and angry” R. Miller

  10. Karen Niles Avatar
    Karen Niles

    I met Mary through neighbor where I grew up down the street. Like Karen say about her smile, she was a bright and friendly. She will always be remembered.

  11. Carrie Levin Avatar
    Carrie Levin

    What a very moving tribute. Mary it has been honor to meet you through ALDA. You brought so many smiles on this planet in your short life. I will cherish the gifts and legacies you have left behind. Thank you Mary. You will be missed but not forgotten.
    Carrie Levin

  12. Cathy Erickson Avatar
    Cathy Erickson

    I first became friends with Mary in high school when her family moved to Cinti, Ohio. She lived up the street from me, and we became friends instantly. I think Mary and I wore a path between her house and mine. We have remained very good friends after her family moved away. In fact we were in each others weddings. I have not seen Mary in a while we talked often on facebook. I have so many fond memories of things Mary and I did together over the years! I will miss you greatly my dear friend. And as you always said as we signed off “Hugs” Hugs to you and your and beautiful girls!! You were a great mom to them Mary. Rest in Peace my dear friend!!